Im going to preface by saying I will never be able to compose myself or articulate completely all the feels you make me feel. Also, every time I think about how you make me feel I legit cry. Uncontrollably emotional. I am turning into you!!!!!
It’s actually really frustrating because time after time I fail to fully convey all of the love and gratitude I have for you. But it is a wonderful problem to have 🙂 You are just sooo incredible Mom. You are my real life super hero, earth angel, guardian, or whatever you want to call it. And if all I had to show for at the end of my life was the relationship that I shared with you then honestly I would be content with that. I would go with a smile on my face knowing I was loved in the deepest and best way possible. And I don’t take that granted for one moment…ok maybe sometimes when we disagree…but the other 99.9% of the time I bask in the comfort of knowing I’m blessed to have you.
Maybe I have some unhealthy attachment going on here but I’m not sure Im actually interested in fixing that. Because I’m scared to let go. My instinct is to hold on to you as tight as I can. Yes Im having a hard time standing up on my own two feet, and hopefully I WILL get there soon. But you are always there for me, perhaps even too much, but that is in your nature. Your heart is a generous one and for you to operate in any other way would be a disservice to yourself.
You are my lifeline… literally and metaphorically. In my lowest of low times I am able to think of you and your love for me and find my strength again. Honestly, your love for me is the only thing that has stood in the way of me and some pretty reckless life choices that would undoubtedly make you gasp. Trust me ya don’t want to know 😉
You are the best thing in my life mom and I love you so much. I hope I am able to make you feel loved more days than not. And I say that because I am aware that as your child I am completely capable of and do operate in incredibly selfish ways that can leave you feeling otherwise at times. Just know that I am trying my best to show you love and compassion even when Im not at my best.
‘Til next time,
I love you so much ❤