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LASHIFY


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For all my lovelies out there that love the idea of having longer/fuller lashes but are not gifted with the patience to apply lash strips on the daily or hate the idea of sitting still and splurging a whole lot of mula for lash extensions… this is a public service announcement for you!

Cue happy dance. Enter LASHIFY. (Psst the link is a discount code)


Get $20 off your first purchase by clicking any of the LASHIFY links!

According to the brand, LASHIFY is a lash system developed to allow lashers to get a lux lash look with out the inconvenience of time and money spent on lash extensions.

As someone that used to get lash extensions and as someone that has always hated the application mess of strip lashes the concept of LASHIFY sounded more than appealing. I was skeptical at first of the brands claim on how easy they were to apply. So I decided to try it out for myself. So lets take a stroll down LASHIFY Lane.

WHAT: LASHIFY is a faux lash system.

In order to get started you will need to purchase what they call the “Control Kit”. The kit has everything you need to get started.

Control Kit contents: 2 Gossamer’s (lashes) in 12 and 14mm lengths, Whisper Light bond in clear and black (this is the glue), Seal and finish clear coat, and the Fuse Control Wand.

HOW:

Step one: Make sure you start with clean, dry lashes. Avoid any oil-based products, including cleansers and creams on or near the eyes before and after application. Use “Lash Prep” or a non oil based face cleanser to achieve this. Avoid micellar water near the eyes after application as well. Step one is the most important step since the gossamer lashes will not adhere correctly otherwise.

Step two: Free the gossamer lash clusters from their respective cartridges. Get an idea where/how you want to place them (you can find “lash maps” on LASHIFY’S IG feed) to curate personalized looks.

Image result for lashify lash map
Example Lash map
Image result for lashify lash map
Example Lash Map

Step 3: Apply the bond. Make sure you are using enough bond (but not to much) at the roots of your natural lash. You want to keep it at the base of the natural lashes, not brush it through the length of natural lashes. You also want to make sure you are attaching the Gossamers to the lashes and not the waterline. Placement is very important. Many new users may apply on the wetline or to close to the wetline. Not only will the bond not adhere as well there, it’s not possible to get a proper fuse. This will ultimately lead to the lashes not lasting. The glue comes in a double ended package with white (clear glue) on one side and black on the other. For beginners I would recommend using the clear since it is easier to see where you are applying it.

Tip: Remember a little goes a long way! The beauty of this glue and lash combo is that you can rearrange and re-apply each gossamer as many times as you need before you “fuse” it into place.

Photo Credit: Lashify IG: @lashify

Step 4: Fuse! Fusing in the LASHIFY world is the process of attaching gossamer’s to natural lashes via the fuse control wand. As they say a pic is worth a million words. So here ya go…


Photo Credit: Lashify IG: @lashify

You want to make sure you securely fuse each Gossamer. I recommend fusing after applying each Gossamer, and then again when you’ve completed your Lash Map. You can even flip the wand with the tips pointing away from you, and use the curved part to fuse smaller sections closer to the lid. You should also fuse before bed and in the morning. 

The fuse control wand is the magical tweezer like contraption that is designed to deliver the right amount of pressure to safely adhere the gossamer’s to natural lashes. Do not attempt this with regular tweezers as they have sharp edges and can not effectively and most importantly safely fuse the gossamer’s.

Step 5: Finish with the clear coat to take away any sticky residue from the glue (which should not be much unless you have applied too much glue).

Note: You can replace the clear coat with “Night Bond” and “Glass”. These are the other bonds that LASHIFY offers to be used in addition to whisper light to achieve longer lasting lashes. If you do plan to wear them for more than one day make sure you shower facing away from the shower head to avoid to much direct hot water/steam.

Step 6: Go forth into the world knowing your lash game is on point!

LASHIFY proved to be a game changer for me and I think I may have found a new addiction. No more gunky mascara or ruining perfectly done eye makeup from fumbling with strip lashes.

Their customer service has been exceptional as well. I have asked their concierge service numerous questions regarding shipping, application and even tips; every time they have been super helpful and courteous. They will also set up a one on one with a Lashify Xpert via FaceTime upon request.

Try them out and use this link to get $20 off your control kit purchase or purchase of $100 or more. Also, click on any other LASHIFY link in this post and it will lead you to the same page to get the $20 off. Let me know what you think if you decide to try them!

Love,

Elysianish

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PATRIARCHAL FAMILY TOTEMS


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Hiiiii!

So… I was scrolling through IG the other day (living my best life, minding my own biz 😜) when I came across an innocent post that a friend of mines husband had put up of a makeshift family totem.

The wall arrangement depicted the the father at the top, followed by the mother, the child and then of course the family pet. Cute right?

On most days I would think so too and just leave it at that.

However, this time my typical response was accompanied by annoyance stemming from a single question…

Obviously their placement of the totem figures was based on traditional western interpretation of hierarchical order (top down, with the top being a position of authority and dominance).

Now before you get your nickers in a twist. I am not trying to paint this as a horrific act against feminism or undermining their family/personal expression. I respect it. Which is why I didn’t make it my business to evoke this specific conversation with them directly or leave any remarks regarding my thoughts on their post. By all means do you as long as you aren’t going out of your way to hurt people.

I am sure they probably weren’t even remotely thinking about their post in terms of patriarchy vs. feminism. To them it was probably just a cute way to depict their family. And it is. Adorable even. I am simply using this as an example of how patriarchy has been so normalized in our culture. In fact it has been so normalized that I actually feel like I have to defend myself to point something like this out to avoid being painted as a crazed feminist (I’m not, just a raging one at times lol) #ridiculous

Most of us wouldn’t even think twice about this totem formation. Most probably would set it up the same way by default and maybe even do it with a quizzical look on their face when asked to do it differently: wondering why it’s even a question. They would place the male figure (in a hetero-sexual house hold) on the top; explaining it’s perfectly normal and follows tradition (this is usually accompanied by a look of pride that I never really understood). All the while this tradition is based on the dated belief that the man is the head of the homestead and the woman his subordinate.

However, by no means is that an accurate or even acceptable assumption anymore. It may seem harmless enough but maybe we need to start considering implications of mindlessness such as this. The underlying message carries a lot of weight. The message that it sends to girls and boys equally as they grow up and form their sense of self. Clearly I’m not saying a simple wall totem goes up and a little girl will be enslaved to the patriarchy as a result or that a little boy will become a sexist entitled pig (extreme I know). But the society that SHE grows up in, that mindlessly depicts such a hierarchy through a million other constructs aimed at her, makes it a hell of a lot harder for her to be equal to her brother (in her mind as well as others).

I think it’s a conversation worth having. I don’t think I’m being petty or the “politically correct” police. All I’m asking is that we start being a bit more aware, at the least, of the implications of the not so obvious and maybe even be open to having a convo like this.

Peace and Love,

Elysianish

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Depression Does Not Discriminate


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Depression is something I have been experiencing for a long time now. I believe for me it showed up in middle school and has followed me into adulthood.

The first signs started in middle school,  when I first learned that my parents really fought and that my dad was and abusive man. To top it off I was dealing with changes my body was going through and the new found weight of societal expectations for teenage girls; what it meant to be beautiful, intelligent, and valued as a female.

But it wasn’t that big of a deal… right? Everyone deals with this stuff.

By the end of grade 10 my grades started to reflect a significant decline. I was tired all the time, had a hard time focusing on homework at home. This was out of the norm for me. I was a curious kid and always enjoyed learning. Despite the changes I still managed to keep up with AP classes, Varsity sports and Choir. I was an involved kid. I like it that way. The less time I had to spend at home the better. No big deal. Normal teenage stuff… right?

Slowly though the things that mattered to me all became muted, lack luster and lost meaning. I found myself being associated with descriptives like “lazy” and “fat” from family. But I didn’t see myself like that at all. I was trying… it just wasn’t showing for some reason. I became a source of frustration for my parents because they couldn’t figure out why on earth I couldn’t get my act together despite having everything I could possibly need handed to me to be happy and successful.

And I couldn’t figure it out either. Why was it so hard to just do it (Nike swoosh). I knew I was more than capable in many ways yet all my energy seemed to be drained by trying to be ready to be ready.  I would try to reason with myself (even up until a few years ago) by citing all the opportunities and support I have received through out my life from friends and family. But it would only frustrate me and fuel the torch that I was carrying that I did not have a valid or good enough reason to be depressed. I couldn’t be depressed. That was something that only happened to the weak of mind… right?

It became a vicious cycle that never led to any improvement. And to make matters worse people close to me fueled that flame further by re-iterating the “facts”. That I had no reason to be depressed. I was too “strong” and had so many cushiony things to be thankful for.

I don’t blame them for giving me bad advise though. People just didn’t know better. Honestly, most still don’t because it is the same mindless advise handed down to them. Although there is a shift taking place, most people are not being educated on mental health.

Till this day, as an adult that struggles with depression, I hear this misinformed advise pop up in conversations often. It usually takes form in the guise of a well intended pep-talk. ” Don’t be silly. Look on the bright side! You have so much to be thankful for (insert job, car, house, etc.) You just need to work a little harder, be more motivated or stop being so sensitive.”

Really? Its maddening. For many different reasons. But the main reason is that there is this pervasive notion that someone has to reach a subjective standard of being in a truly shit circumstance to be worthy of being able to feel or be depressed. Furthermore if you manage to jump that hurdle you better be prepared to jump another one to get over the stigma associated with seeking help for it. And if you don’t meet the subjective acceptable levels of being in a rough spot then be prepared to dawn the label of being a drama queen, someone that doesn’t take ownership or just being plain lazy.

Look I’m not advocating for depression to be a scapegoat for individuals who happen to be carriers of the not so great attributes listed above. But there is a difference between being plain lazy and being depressed. It may or may not be so obvious at times;  but thats were the aid of your friendly mental healthcare practitioner or simply spending time researching the topic would come in handy. Mmmk.

We don’t question someones validity to be sick when they are diagnosed with a cold or especially with something like cancer. So why do we question them when they are experiencing a form of psychological illness? It makes no sense.

Colds and Cancer don’t discriminate. Neither does depression.

It doesn’t matter what your socio economic class is, how tall you are, what color your skin is, what your age is, what your sex is, what car you drive or what your home mortgage costs every month. Depression can happen to anyone. It is not some right you have to earn to be justified in experiencing it. It just happens.

You are allowed to feel it, talk about it, and most importantly seek help for it no matter who you are or what your life circumstance is.