Mindfulness

Sharing, WRITING LETTERS

DEAR STRANGER,


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I’m writing to tell you that I see you.

It’s possible you wouldn’t care in the least bit if you knew. It’s also possible this message will seek you out in a moment of need.

Either way I hope you come to know that YOU are not invisible to me.

I think about you and wonder who you might be, what you must be thinking and where you are headed. Sometimes you are an elderly woman waiting for the bus as I speed by to catch the light. At other times you are a child walking with a back pack miles away from the nearest school. We never cross paths (at least that I’m aware of), I never get to acknowledge your presence with a smile or even ask you what your name is.

But you choosing to BE has a magnificent impact on me. Even if only for a few moments at a time. For those moments I am truly thankful for you.

You see, you being you makes me wonder and wonder is the catalyst of life. You give my life context with the juxtaposition of your circumstance next to mine. You help me connect to myself and the grand design.

With that said, I hope these words find you when you need them most.

Much Love,

Elysianish

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PATRIARCHAL FAMILY TOTEMS


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Hiiiii!

So… I was scrolling through IG the other day (living my best life, minding my own biz 😜) when I came across an innocent post that a friend of mines husband had put up of a makeshift family totem.

The wall arrangement depicted the the father at the top, followed by the mother, the child and then of course the family pet. Cute right?

On most days I would think so too and just leave it at that.

However, this time my typical response was accompanied by annoyance stemming from a single question…

Obviously their placement of the totem figures was based on traditional western interpretation of hierarchical order (top down, with the top being a position of authority and dominance).

Now before you get your nickers in a twist. I am not trying to paint this as a horrific act against feminism or undermining their family/personal expression. I respect it. Which is why I didn’t make it my business to evoke this specific conversation with them directly or leave any remarks regarding my thoughts on their post. By all means do you as long as you aren’t going out of your way to hurt people.

I am sure they probably weren’t even remotely thinking about their post in terms of patriarchy vs. feminism. To them it was probably just a cute way to depict their family. And it is. Adorable even. I am simply using this as an example of how patriarchy has been so normalized in our culture. In fact it has been so normalized that I actually feel like I have to defend myself to point something like this out to avoid being painted as a crazed feminist (I’m not, just a raging one at times lol) #ridiculous

Most of us wouldn’t even think twice about this totem formation. Most probably would set it up the same way by default and maybe even do it with a quizzical look on their face when asked to do it differently: wondering why it’s even a question. They would place the male figure (in a hetero-sexual house hold) on the top; explaining it’s perfectly normal and follows tradition (this is usually accompanied by a look of pride that I never really understood). All the while this tradition is based on the dated belief that the man is the head of the homestead and the woman his subordinate.

However, by no means is that an accurate or even acceptable assumption anymore. It may seem harmless enough but maybe we need to start considering implications of mindlessness such as this. The underlying message carries a lot of weight. The message that it sends to girls and boys equally as they grow up and form their sense of self. Clearly I’m not saying a simple wall totem goes up and a little girl will be enslaved to the patriarchy as a result or that a little boy will become a sexist entitled pig (extreme I know). But the society that SHE grows up in, that mindlessly depicts such a hierarchy through a million other constructs aimed at her, makes it a hell of a lot harder for her to be equal to her brother (in her mind as well as others).

I think it’s a conversation worth having. I don’t think I’m being petty or the “politically correct” police. All I’m asking is that we start being a bit more aware, at the least, of the implications of the not so obvious and maybe even be open to having a convo like this.

Peace and Love,

Elysianish

ASPIRING, Sharing

QUIET ACCOMPLISHMENTS


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Reflecting on 2018 I asked myself what I was most proud of last year. Looking around in my mind I couldn’t find anything substantially rooted in the material that reflected an obvious accomplishment or even a token of some goal achieved (cuz umm honestly last year was not my year for goal setting, ya feelin me…) Anyway, the most beautiful answer came to me despite the nuclear panic in my mind. A little voice was brave enough to speak up and say, “I am proud of the friendships I have allowed myself to curate”.

I thought to myself “Damn girl! That’s some real depth! Good for you! That is so true!” Ha!

Although, some of these friendships have come and gone with the seasons (totally okay and normal). I think some are meant to be that way. Some have lasted a couple of decades and continue to grow. But the ones that matter most, no matter the time span, are in-explainable and leave a lasting impression.

It’s cheesy I know. But I don’t care. It’s the good stuff in life! Literally Gouda is one of my fav’s (hehe). Seriously though it can be really easy to dismiss quiet accomplishments that are not written in bold in your obituary, like getting that house or college degree, but they are just as important. Actually, I think the quiet little victories are more important but what do I know. lol

Keep your chin up darlings!

Love,

Elysianish

ASPIRING, Sharing

THE UPSIDE OF BLUE


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I really do believe that I AM an optimist at heart. However, sometimes it gets really hard (like really hard) for me to remember that. Especially lately. And I know I’m not the only one.

You know that feeling you get when you pull yourself out of the dumps? It’s a pretty good feeling right!  Do you also remember giving yourself a celebratory pep talk that went something like, ” I will never let myself come to a time like this again!” Fast forward a few years and here you are again in a similar circumstance and a similar mindset. Now your back to the bottom of Sisyphus’ hill.

Well my friend I’m here to tell you it is A-Okay! I mean I know it doesn’t feel like that, but that’s kind of  the point. Let me explain.

After years of scolding myself for letting myself get down, I recently realized something.  Contrary to popular advice of pushing through, sucking it up, and essentially ignoring my feelings because they were just a form of weakness that I needed to push through like a cross fit work out: I have arrived at the conclusion that it is OKAY to FEEL sad. In fact it’s more than okay, it’s actually probably helpful and maybe even necessary. I know, I know.  You are probably thinking “what gives lady? How is being sad helpful? Clearly you must be abusing Valium or have never really experienced a crap life circumstance.” While neither of those are true… I understand the knee jerk, eye roll response. I had the same reaction. But hear me out.

As annoying and debilitating as the emotion of “sadness” is, don’t you think it too deserves a silver lining? Think about it. What purpose does sadness serve? I don’t believe that it is some perfunctory creation of our biology or consciousness. Everything in nature and its very design (which we are a part of) is amazingly efficient and highly organizational. Meaning that every thing and being and all of their cells have an efficient purpose and function. So why would our biology be any different? Assuming that emotions arise from biochemicals, why would they be an exception to the rule? And even if emotions aren’t created biologically,  but rather come from some other part of us that we are not able to yet measure, they still function within our physical-ness (…biology). My point is we are not an exception to the highly organized and efficient nature of nature. See what I did there eh eh… Anyway my point is that we are not above it all. We too are nature. And somehow we as a species have forgotten and/or may have been actively fighting this fact. But why?

Really though…WHY?

You see it takes way too much energy to produce emotions for me to believe sadness is just this storm of nonsensical neural activity driven solely by potentiality based on a meaningless influx of neurotransmitters generated by chance reactionary circumstances. Yeah.

What if our emotions, good and bad, are the equivalent to one of our other senses and not just residual from a reactionary process. Acting as feelers for when we are in alignment with what we essentially want to create and experience. For example, we use our other senses to help us navigate the world to either move towards or away from what we perceive to be good/bad, pleasant/unpleasant, safe/unsafe experiences. So perhaps our emotional states serve the same purpose and then some, creating a bridge between the physical and the inner mushy place(aka. soul, inner being, energy).

Now I’m examining sadness specifically, although I do suppose our many other emotions would serve us in the same way as well, but sadness is a quirky little feeling. People mostly find it annoying and it kind of gets neglected on the list of emotions to be grateful for. But what if it’s just misunderstood. What if it’s purpose is to let us know when we are creating or trending toward an overall emotional state that we may not be in alignment with. What if sadness isn’t so much a reaction to an event we just experienced but rather a reaction to the emotional reaction we feel to said event… still with me?

Let me break it down. Say for example you have a goal to lose X amount of weight before a tropical vacay because you plan on feeling fabulous in that super cute bikini that has been stalking you on IG. But then all of a sudden you feel like time decided to slingshot you to a week before the trip and you are no more fit then you were at the start. You start to feel uneasy, anxious, and maybe even resentful toward yourself for not having the will to get it together like you said you would…and now you feel sad. You think you feel sad because you’re not going to look like that IG model did in that bikini or because you essentially failed to meet a goal you had set for yourself. But what if the sadness was actually being generated in response to the negative self-talk and negativity you are creating for yourself in that moment. What if that is your inner beings way of telling you, “Hey! We are starting to go down a path that we don’t want to. A path far away from the truth”. And the truth is you are fabulous and you have a choice to feel amazing in that bikini regardless of how much you weigh. The truth is you are already whole perfect and complete and now you are forgetting that… and perhaps that is why you are feeling sad now. Because you are out of sync with that little inner voice that is a relentless cheerleader for all things made of rainbows,glitter, and cotton candy clouds.

What if we stopped fretting about the inevitable negative emotions, like sadness that we WILL experience, and embrace them instead as a hint or sometimes strong nudge trying to point us in the right direction. And by embracing them we can stop running from them. We can start recognizing the power behind them and learn how to utilize it to move forward instead of getting stuck in a ditch that we keep digging deeper. And if we stop for a second, then maybe we can collect our thoughts for a moment, that may just lead to a foot hold that we can use to pull ourselves out. And then maybe,just maybe we can start feeling better much sooner.

Now I do recognize there are major life events such as the loss of a loved one or a major tragedy that hits us out of no where. And naturally we feel sad at those times. How does this theory of sadness fit in here? Honestly, I am not entirely sure. Mostly because it’s hard to wrap this up in a neat explanation in the face of a tragedy and the ungodly things that people face everyday. So for now I will humbly say I don’t know. And that’s okay. Because really no one knows. We are all just trying to figure it out using our feelings mostly because logic kind of floats away when it comes to comprehending the big why’s in life. No one really has the rules or the answers to this game.

I realize this may sound overly simplified. However, it’s worth a shot trying on a new perspective even if all the details aren’t figured out ahead of time. Maybe somethings can only be revealed to us by the perspective we gain from participation and not from the sidelines.

Either way it’s an interesting thought.

✌️❤️

Elysianish

ASPIRING, Sharing

WHAT THE BLEEP IS L.O.A.?


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First let’s break it down.

L – Law

O – Of

A – Attraction

Due to the recent mass popularization of the topic by movies such as “The Secret”, the idea of what exactly LOA is has become a bit muddled and reduced to some magical process in which you just declare what you want to the universe and “BAM!” it’s there. Then again it is kind of magical by nature because we really don’t know at this point how to explain the powers at be behind this mystical process. Nor do we have a way to qualify any evidence in favor of it. So I am going to take a stab at explaining it from the perspective of someone who is open to the concept and looking to explore it.

What: The Law Of Attraction is basically the principle that like attracts like. However, it is referring to vibrational frequencies in terms of energy. Furthermore the vibrational frequencies relate specifically to emotions and feelings which in turn translate to our realities that we experience everyday… Wait Whaaaat! Yeah I know. Let me try again. Basically what I’m trying to say is that according to LOA you attract into your life and to yourself experiences that match the emotional frequency you are vibrating at. These emotional frequencies are activated by thoughts and beliefs that we choose to engage with on a day-to-day basis. Thoughts = Emotion = Create Our Reality. Or maybe its Emotion = Thoughts= Create Our Reality. Um that’s kind of a psychological chicken and egg situation that I really don’t want to get into here. You are welcome haha. But basically we create our realities based on the vibrations we practice and engage with errrday.

For example, if you feel and believe you are healthy, then in theory you would be attracting experiences that reflect the feeling and state of being healthy. If you feel and believe your life is filled with financial abundance then you most likely will attract experiences that reflect that state of being and continue to attract more experiences that yield financial abundance. Conversely the opposite is also true. If you feel you are lacking prosperity then you will be activating that vibration and therefore attracting more of the same into your experience. The key words here are believe and feel.

That’s basically all I’ve got right now and as far as my understanding of the topic goes. But I’m eager to explore this subject matter further and can’t wait to see what I discover. I think I’d like to give it a shot and a journey I would like to share with you all. So lets see how this goes shall we 🙂

Peace, Love, and Namaste,

Elysianish